His Side

I gripped my steering wheel tightly and pulled over on the street over from my house. With both hands on the steering wheel I closed my eyes and released a heavy breath.

Kayla’s face tear-filled face filled my head causing my chest to grow tight. My stomach was flipping thinking how things would turn out if she found out why my attitude had suddenly changed.

I never expect things to turn out like they did with Kayla.

From the moment I saw her years ago I was determined to have her. She had this vibrant aura around her that drew me to her instantly. It didn’t help that she was drop-dead gorgeous either.

Cinnamon brown, blemish-free skin. Big round, light brown eyes. She normally wore her hair in a protective style, because she had done that big chop shit a couple years back.

Kayla wasn’t the thickest girl, she was slim, but I didn’t give a fuck about all that. Her chest and ass were enough to grip and hold. Her hips poke out slightly and her stomach had a small pudge that was barely noticeable.

I had to swallow hard.

Kayla was a girl that most moms wanted their son to go for. She was a good girl, smart, ambitious, supportive. She was caring too, would give her last to anyone who needed it if she had too.

Pulling on my bottom lip with my teeth I lifted and looked around the dark street.

My phone was going off in my pocket. I ignored it for as long as I could at the house, but I knew I couldn’t anymore.

When Kayla asked me if I was cheating on her I almost crumbled in front of her. That was the last thing I would ever do to her.

Still I had made a mistake, a mistake, that was more than likely cost me everything I built for me and my girl.

I know lately I been distant with Kayla, it wasn’t intentional but the guilt I was carrying caused me to stay away from her. Each time I stared into her eyes; I was reminded of my fuck up. Even though I hated how I was treating my girl, I was hoping I would push Kayla away enough that she would just leave me so I wouldn’t have to admit my truth to her.

It was fucked up, but I wasn’t sure how to win this situation.

Sighing I dug into my pocket and grabbed my phone.

Cas: Meet me at the hospital.

My stomach turned even more.

I laid my head back and replied I was on my way.

This shit was becoming stressful as hell, I needed to hurry up and get a handle on shit, and quick.

***

“What’s wrong with her?” I rushed into the hospital room and quickly asked when I laid eyes on Cassie.

Cassie looked up at me with tired eyes.

“She wouldn’t stop crying and she was running a fever.”

I swallowed hard as I approached the bed.

My heart swelled when I laid eyes on my daughter Summer. “What are they saying?” I ran my hand over Summer’s small curls and smiled.

“They ran a few tests before you got here. We’re waiting for the results.”

Summer started stirring in the bed they had her in. I quickly picked her up and laid her on my chest.

As if she knew I was near, Summer snuggled into me as I bounced her up and down.

Staring down at her I felt a sense of sadness.

Summer was my heart, but she was also my biggest secret. I loved her and I knew it was no way I could continue to hide her.

She or Kayla didn’t deserve that.

“Did you tell her?” Cassie asked me causing me to turn and face her.

I sighed and shook my head. “I couldn’t. Kayla had this whole dinner planned for us. She kept asking me what was wrong with me but every time I attempted to tell her my tongue got tied and I got pissed off. I can’t hurt her, especially not after everything we just went through.”

Cassie gave me a sympathetic look. “The two of you weren’t technically, together right? So maybe she’ll be more understanding.”

I chuckled lowly and shook my head. “Nah, you don’t know my girl.”

Kayla was a sweet girl, but she had a mean side. Her ass could hold a grudge too. The two of us had only had two big fights since we been together. One was a few months after we got together. Her ass didn’t talk to me for two weeks following that.

The last one was more recent. Almost a year ago to be exact, the same time Cassie was referring too.

“It’s not like you even give a fuck Vincent! I seem to be the only one affected by my miscarriage!”

I knew she was pissed because Kayla didn’t like to curse foreal.

I pinched my nose and released a heavy breath. “Why would you say some dumb shit like that Kayla! Just like you’re hurting I am too!”

“It doesn’t seem like it! You walk around here laughing and smiling all the time. How the hell could you be so happy when we took a huge loss!”

“Kayla, that was three months ago baby. We can’t sit around and be upset about it for the rest of our lives. The doctor said you’re healthy and what happened was a natural cause. We can try for another one baby if you want, I just don’t want either of us walking around upset.”

She glared at me. “I don’t want to try again Vincent! Are you trying to replace the baby that we lost?”

I shook my head. “Kayla look I need to get to meet up with Chad we-.”

“We nothing! I’m going home.” Kayla declared.

My stomach flipped. “What?”

“I said I’m going home. You don’t give a fuck about me or my feelings and I don’t want to be with you anymore!”

Tears were running down her face.

My heart was beating wildly in my chest.

Me and Kayla had, had our fair share of arguments but she never threatened to go home.

“You’re not going anywhere, Kayla. Just chill the fuck out damn!”

“No! I’m tired of walking around like I’m not hurting and you not caring Vince! I just want you to care!”

I released another heavy breath.

Slowly I walked towards her and wrapped her up in my arms.

“Baby I do care.” I kissed the top of her head. “That shit gutted me. I was happy the love of my life was about to give me a baby. When you lost it, I felt like a piece of me died too. I know it still hurts but we can make another baby. Not to replace the one we lost but because we love each other. I don’t want to fight about this though, I want the two of us to be on the same page. You know I hate fighting with you.”

I pulled back and looked down at her.

Tears were still building up in her eyes. “Can you just hold me?” She begged

I knew I needed to go, but I couldn’t leave Kayla like she was.

That night I held her until she fell asleep. I stroked her hair and kept telling her how much I loved her.

When she finally fell asleep, I slipped out of bed and left.

I knew I wouldn’t be gone long, and I would make it back before Kayla got up.

Turns out the joke was on me.

When I got back that night Kayla was gone. She left a note saying she needed time away from me and that she couldn’t keep staring at me knowing she lost something that belonged to both of us.

That night I went out and got pissy drunk, I was pissed, sad, and confused. Kayla turned off her Find My iPhone so I couldn’t track her.

That’s the night I ran into Cassie, she was going through her shit and the two of us kept drinking and one thing led to another.

Three weeks later Kayla came back home and apologized. The two of us talked and she slowly started getting back to herself.

A few months ago, Cassie ended up finding me. She knew I co-owned the club we met at with Chad and came up to find me. When Chad called me to come meet him, I was blown away to see Cassie with a newborn in her hands. She explained her ex got tested and he wasn’t the dad and I was the only other choice.

That was four months ago and now here I am. An almost five-month-old baby not with my girl and a secret that can ruin everything.

Thankfully Cassie wasn’t a crazy baby mama. She and her ex were trying to make it work and I had met dude. He seemed like a good guy and he loved Cassie and accepted Summer.

Cassie was patient when it came to me telling Kayla about Summer. She didn’t push me and often encouraged me to tell Kayla sooner than later. I helped with Summer and spent as much time with her as possible.

That’s why I was late for dinner today. Summer had been fussy and Cassie was feeling overwhelmed. I told her I would handle Summer while she napped and got herself together and lost track of time.

“I don’t want to be that baby mom Vincent, but you have to tell her. Summer doesn’t deserve to be a secret and Kayla doesn’t deserve to be lied too either.”

I had laid out all my shit for Cassie when we first found out I was Summer’s dad. I didn’t want any lines blurred. Thankfully she wasn’t even stressing me like that.

“I know Cassie.”

Right now I wasn’t trying to think about that. All I was worried about was my baby girl, and her getting better.

***

I pulled into my driveway and ran my hand down my face.

Summer ended up having a double ear infection, which thankfully wasn’t too serious. I hated to see my baby girl in pain though.

I looked towards my house.

It was dark so I assumed Kayla was sleeping.

After seeing my daughter sick and how she clung to me when she woke up. I knew I needed to come clean to Kayla. I couldn’t keep acting like a part-time father when I wasn’t.

Climbing out my car I headed for my door.

When I was in the house, I slowly made my way to the bedroom.

My heart was racing. I felt like I was an inmate on death row, walking to my execution. Even though Kayla wasn’t up, I still felt nervous being next to her.

I stood at the door for a second and smiled at Kayla’s wrapped up in our blankets. She was anemic but kept the house cold at night because she said it was the only way she could sleep. Normally she would snuggle up on me, using me for my body heat. On days I wasn’t in bed next to her she would make a cocoon of herself with our covers.

I walked deeper into our room and to the bathroom.

After brushing my teeth and washing my face I stripped out my clothes and headed to the bedroom and the bed.

I still was feeling guilty about how I left Kayla. I knew I would have some major ass-kissing to do once I told her about Cassie and Summer.

When I was in bed I slid under the covers and pulled her into me. I thought she would resist but Kayla always said she slept better when I was near her, so her body naturally gravitated to mine.

I kissed the top of her head.

“I love you, baby, I swear I do,” I said lowly.

My chest begin to sting and tears filled my eyes. “Just don’t leave me.” I closed my eyes to get myself together.

I felt Kayla move closer to me.

I tightened my grip on her and tried to allow sleep to find me but her next words caused my eyes to snap open and my breathing to halt.

“Who’s Summer and Cas?”