Her side

 I was sure Vince could hear my heart beating inside my chest, by how loud it was pounding inside of me. My hands were sweaty and there was a huge lump inside of throat, I attempted to swallow.

My hands were crossed in front of me and I kept shifting my weight from side to side while staring down at Vince’s feet.

When he cleared his throat I was forced to bring my attention to him.

Vince was still as good-looking as he was the day I left him. The only thing that was different was instead of wearing a goatee now he support a five o’clock shadow and a groomed mustache over his luscious lips.

My insides stirred thinking of how he used to pleasure my body with those same lips. His eyes were piercing into me. They were cold and unwelcoming sending a chill down my spine. The hairs on the back of my neck rose and I licked my dry lips and quickly averted my eyes from his.

My stomach grew queasy when I heard the stirring in the car seat near my feet then the small whimpers.

Attempting to clear the lump in my throat I swallowed hard and bent down. Lifting the car seat cover I laid eyes on my baby girl.

She looked up at me with her dark wide eyes like her father and gave me a gummy smile that warmed my heart. She had inherited Vincent’s peanut butter skin and dark eyes but outside of that she looked just like me.

I unbuckled her and removed her from her car seat. Cradling her in my arms I stood up and hesitantly looked back at Vince while rocking our daughter.

His jaw clenched as his eyes landed on her. I could see the veins in his neck bulging, showing me how pissed he really was.

“What’s her name?” He finally asked breaking the uncomfortable silence between us.

“Aria Lynn.”

He chewed on his bottom lip. “Last name?” His eyebrow rose.

“Marshall,” I replied lowly.

He nodded and seemed relieved that I gave our daughter his last name. His face still held tension though. I wasn’t sure what to say because I knew there was nothing I could say to ease this situation.

He stepped closer to me causing my heart to beat faster. I blinked a few times and bounced Aria a little faster.

He held his arms out for her without saying a word to me. I looked down at my daughter and felt tears swell in my eyes. Slowly I handed her to her father. I wasn’t sure how Aria was going to take to him. I could admit I already had her spoiled and she didn’t really like to be held by anyone but me and occasionally my parents.

Vince looked down at her and for the first time since I been here he smile. I thought Aria would start fussing but like she knew she was near her dad she started cooing and smiling up at him.

“How old is she?” Even though he was smiling down at Aria his voice was low and cold.

“She just turned three months Saturday.” His jaw clenched again.

We both stood there while he took our daughter in. He seemed completely infatuated by her.

It wasn’t long until Aria began whining and squirming in his arms. “She’s probably hungry,” I said lowly.

With his eyes still on her he asked, “Where’s her bottle?”

“I breastfeed her.”

Vince looked up at me with a blank look. He turned and walked away causing me to sigh. Leaving Aria’s stuff near the door I followed behind him.

He walked into the living room and took a seat.

“You want me to feed her in here?” I looked around his living room, our living room. Nothing had really changed since the last time I was here.

My eyes went to the pictures on the wall and I felt my heart stumble. He still had the pictures I cried and begged him to get taken hanging on the wall. It was our three-year anniversary and I wanted something meaningful. Even though he didn’t want to take them he sucked it up for me.

Tears formed in my eyes. The good times me and Vince had begun filling my head looking around the room, I decorated when we first got this place.

“Kayla!” Vince called out causing me to jump.

Hearing him say my name felt so foreign to me, but it sounded like a sweet melody to my ears.

“You can feed her in here. It’s not like I haven’t seen your breast before.” His voice was still even and lacking any emotion.

I nodded and slowly made my way over to him. I couldn’t hide my nervousness. Vincent felt like a stranger to me right now. It didn’t feel like I was around the man I had spent four years with and now shared a child with.

The light I used to see in his eyes was nonexistent. The smile that used to unleash a load of butterflies in my stomach had yet to appear.

Pulling my arms out of my shirt I lowered my bra and held my arms out for Vince to hand me Aria. His eyes fell on my breast then he slowly looked up at me. He licked his lips slowly before handing me Aria.

We sat there silently as I nursed Aria. My leg was bouncing and I wasn’t sure if I could take any more of the silence.

“I knew you were pissed about Summer. I had a baby on you and hid it. Regardless if we weren’t together anymore, I knew we weren’t done and that you were hurting.” He started.

Instead of looking at him, I kept my eyes on Aria. She was holding tightly onto my finger like she always did.

“Finding out you were pregnant again was the best news to me. I felt like it was our second chance. I know I had fucked up by getting Cass pregnant and I know it was going to take some time but I was sure that we could bounce back. I was prepared to give you the space you needed to get over the hurt I caused you.” I pulled on my bottom lip and blinked the tears back that were starting to form in my eyes.

“When you told me you were getting an abortion I didn’t think you would go through with it. You weren’t that kind of person. I never saw you as being spiteful because it wasn’t in your character, but then you just disappeared and blocked me out of your life.”

Aria finished eating and I removed her from my breast. Tucking it back in my bra, I then lifted her to my shoulder to burp her.

“I don’t even know how to fucking react right now Kayla. A whole year you were gone and you were pregnant the whole time! You didn’t reach out and tell me you kept my baby, I missed every fucking thing!” The anger laced in his voice caused me to finally look at him.

In his eyes, I saw a mix of anger, hurt, and disappointment. His nose flared and his eyes were squinted. His hands were in his lap balled up tightly while his jaw clenched.

“I wanted to hurt you.” I started.

I closed my eyes and sniffed back my tears.

Aria burped and I pulled her away from me. Vincent instantly held his arms out for her and I handed her over.

“When I found out you had a child by someone else I was crushed. I felt like someone had stabbed me in the chest and ripped my damn heart out. You went out and made a child right after I lost mine and you hid it. I felt betrayed, hurt, like less than a woman. Then the same day I found out we had a second chance I find out you already had that second chance with someone else.

I was angry and I just wanted to hurt you the same way I was hurt. I wanted you to suffer. My parents tried to make me call you. The further I got the more they pestered me but I couldn’t face you, yet. I was still in my feelings and I would look on social media and see you with your daughter and it would crush me all over again.”

The tears I had been trying to keep at bay finally begin to fall. I inhaled a deep breath before I continued.

“The person I became when I was pregnant wasn’t me. I was resentful and angry. I resented a child that was innocent in everything. I hated that you had her. I was just…I just wasn’t myself. I couldn’t bring myself to look at you and know I held so much anger towards you and an innocent child.”

I licked my lips and looked at Aria. “When I had Aria and I first held her, that all changed though. I knew I couldn’t continue holding on to that hurt and anger. It wasn’t fair to anyone involved. Aria deserved to know you and her sister and I had to accept that Summer was here.” I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath.

“Cassie reached out to me.” A shocked expression appeared on his face. His mouth dropped and confusion filled it. “I don’t know how she found me but she reached out and apologized. Even though she did nothing wrong she apologized for the hurt I was feeling and told me she never meant to cause any harm. I was reluctant at first but we started messaging back and forth.

I had posted a single picture of Aria’s hand and she asked me if that was Summer’s sister. After I confirmed it she promised not to say anything because I told her I was coming to town soon so you could meet her.”

I stopped my ramble because by now I wasn’t sure how Vincent was feelings. His face was blank as he stared at me. Knots filled my stomach and I tapped my hands on my knees. Tears were still running down my face, but I quickly attempted to wipe them away.

Vincent nipped his bottom lip with his bottom teeth. He released a heavy sigh and stared down at our sleeping daughter in his arms.

“Kayla. I’m trying not to flip the fuck out on you right now.” He started making my chest tighten.

“I’m sorry Vince.” I replied lowly.

“You’re sorry? I missed my daughter’s birth! I missed your whole pregnancy!”

“You had a baby on me!”

“We weren’t even together when I made Summer!”

“And that makes it okay!” I screeched causing Aria to jump. Vince cut his eyes at me. “I was mourning the lost of my baby and I just wanted you to be there for me. You were carrying on like everything was okay, while I was drowning in my feelings. I didn’t know how to handle it so I pushed you away.”

“Don’t feed me that bullshit Kayla. I tried to be there for you. I was hurting too but I couldn’t let that consume me!”

Balling my fist up I brought them to my face and took a few deep breaths. I was supposed to be over this hurt. I came here so Vince could meet is daughter. I wanted us to try and come to middle ground.

“Vince I don’t want to fight with you. I came here so you could meet Aria. I know you’re mad and at first that’s what I wanted, I wanted you to feel how I felt. I thought it would make me feel better but it doesn’t. Like you said I’m not this person, I’m not hateful or spiteful.” I lowered my hands from my face and looked at Vince.

“How long y’all in town?”

I chewed on the inside of my cheek. “I don’t really have a time frame, just packed a bunch a stuff because I knew you would want time.”

Slowly he nodded his head.

“Where you staying?”

“The Hilton.”

His face frowned up. “Nah, y’all can come stay here.”

“Vince-.”

“I’m not about to have my daughter staying in no damn hotel Kayla. You can stay there if you want but she’s not.”

My nose scrunched up. “I’m not leaving my baby.”

“Then stop trying to fight me.” I sighed.

“Okay, Vince.” I knew there was no getting around it. The last thing I wanted to do was continuing to argue with him.

My eyebrows squinted when I heard the sound a faint crying from further in the house. I looked at Vince.

“Shit, I forgot Summer was here.” He held Aria out for me to grab and hopped up.

I suddenly grew nervous. My mouth grew dry and I looked at my daughter attempting to calm my nerves.

I had never seen Summer in person or been around her. The feelings I used to have when it came to her were gone, but I couldn’t help the tightness in my chest or turning in my stomach.

I was staring down at Aria. Soon I heard movement next to me and slowly looked up.